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Thursday, February 25, 2010

Love Lessons (Part 4)

How To Maintain Long Distance Relationships

Well, Hubby and I survived this, so did my Uncle and Aunt so let's see what love doctors has to say.

Love Lesson 20
"Being away from your partner can be a time of self-discovery as well as time of discovering and appreciating the positives in your partner. Write letters, email, chat, Skype - find ways of learning and loving this part of your life."

Schedule your online date and stick to it. Back then, Ceasar and I can only chat on Friday afternoons. Being used (for two years) to spending Friday nights with friends on binge drinking, it was a major adjustment. I had to skip the fun sessions. I would get teased a lot since we were only bf-gf but I had to prove Ceasar i was committed to the relationship and loyal as he was. Anyways, I had Saturday and Sunday to make it up to my friends. But on those occasions that my friends really insist the Friday fun, i join for an hour, go home for my online date for two hours and come back to my friends waiting. Of course, it also helps that your friends and family are supportive of what makes you happy.

I first saw that trait to my Uncle M who maintained 14 years of LDR with my now official and legal Aunt. He would be drinking and enjoying friends on anyday of the week but he comes home to speak on the phone for four hours or even longer no matter what his state of being. 

Love Lesson 21
 "Long distance relationship should be kept to a minimum!"

A revered mentor Dr. Torralba told me once that relationships -- LDR or not, should not go further than two years. Either you get married or stop dating at all. I think what happened to my Uncle M was a rare exception to the rule. Yes, i did gave an ultimatum to Ceasar  -- if we don't see each other by December, I will file for legal separation. We were separated for 7 months before our wedding. We were together for three weeks. and separated again after the wedding for 5 months! It had to stop. I love him like i never loved anybody else and i would give my life for him but for a relationship or a marriage for that matter, needs to be nurtured to survive. Fortunately, i arrived Dubai two months earlier than my set cut-off date lolz!

Ceasar would tease me about the so-called ultimatum from time to time, but it's the least of my concern. I got what i wanted - a family and a walking dictionary. And he gets what he needs - a wife who cooks for him in all her naked glory. Joke. Sometimes, one has to know when to take charge of the relationship. IF, after three years and you are still standing there thinking where is this going, it's time to hit the brakes, dahling. Apply your red MAC lipstick and move on.

Love Lesson 22
"Keep in touch frequently, believe in each other, verbalise insecurities, and act loving/write lovingly even though you may have doubts."

How To Get Through Life's ups and Downs Together

Love Lesson 23
"Life is difficult! It is made easier when two people see themselves as on the same team to confront life's difficult moments."

Love Lesson 24
"Live in the moment, always communicating needs and addressing concerns as they happen. Look at life's challenges as opportunities."

That's all folks!

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