Love Lessons (Part 4)

How To Maintain Long Distance Relationships

Well, Hubby and I survived this, so did my Uncle and Aunt so let's see what love doctors has to say.

Love Lesson 20

"Being away from your partner can be a time of self-discovery as well as time of discovering and appreciating the positives in your partner. Write letters, email, chat, Skype - find ways of learning and loving this part of your life."

Schedule your online date and stick to it. Back then, Ceasar and I can only chat on Friday afternoons. Being used (for two years) to spending Friday nights with friends on binge drinking, it was a major adjustment. I had to skip the fun sessions. I would get teased a lot since we were only bf-gf but I had to prove Ceasar i was committed to the relationship and loyal as he was. Anyways, I had Saturday and Sunday to make it up to my friends. But on those occasions that my friends really insist the Friday fun, i join for an hour, go home for my online date for two hours and come back to my friends waiting. Of course, it also helps that your friends and family are supportive of what makes you happy.

I first saw that trait to my Uncle M who maintained 14 years of LDR with my now official and legal Aunt. He would be drinking and enjoying friends on anyday of the week but he comes home to speak on the phone for four hours or even longer no matter what his state of being. 

Love Lesson 21
 "Long distance relationship should be kept to a minimum!"

A revered mentor Dr. Torralba told me once that relationships -- LDR or not, should not go further than two years. Either you get married or stop dating at all. I think what happened to my Uncle M was a rare exception to the rule. Yes, i did gave an ultimatum to Ceasar  -- if we don't see each other by December, I will file for legal separation. We were separated for 7 months before our wedding. We were together for three weeks. and separated again after the wedding for 5 months! It had to stop. I love him like i never loved anybody else and i would give my life for him but for a relationship or a marriage for that matter, needs to be nurtured to survive. Fortunately, i arrived Dubai two months earlier than my set cut-off date lolz!

Ceasar would tease me about the so-called ultimatum from time to time, but it's the least of my concern. I got what i wanted - a family and a walking dictionary. And he gets what he needs - a wife who cooks for him in all her naked glory. Joke. Sometimes, one has to know when to take charge of the relationship. IF, after three years and you are still standing there thinking where is this going, it's time to hit the brakes, dahling. Apply your red MAC lipstick and move on.

Love Lesson 22

"Keep in touch frequently, believe in each other, verbalise insecurities, and act loving/write lovingly even though you may have doubts."

How To Get Through Life's ups and Downs Together

Love Lesson 23

"Life is difficult! It is made easier when two people see themselves as on the same team to confront life's difficult moments."

Love Lesson 24

"Live in the moment, always communicating needs and addressing concerns as they happen. Look at life's challenges as opportunities."

That's all folks!

Love Lessons (Part 3)

"A married couple are well suited when both partners usually feel the need for a quarrel at the same time." ~ Jean Rostand 

How To Make Up Right

Love Lesson 12
"In every argument there are two parties who are responsible. Find out what are you responsible for and apologise."


Love Lesson 13

"Life is too short to not to speak to the person you love for any extended period of time."

Okay, i'm guilty of this hihi. When i am fuming, I completely shut up and i need to be alone. I have to leave the room or the house. I need fresh air to put things back in perspective. We all have different ways of dealing with anger and disappointment but  the important thing is, you kiss and make up before going to bed.

Love Lesson 14
"Of course say you are sorry, and then ask what you can do to show your commitment to be a better person."


Love Lesson 15
"One of the best predictors of a happy and long-lasting marriage is fair fighting. Arguments will happen (if you never disagree with your mate then you are probably not being as open and honest as would be healthy). And making up (including what you say and do, how you say it, and how long it takes you to forgive) is a vital component of the argument."

"Change your goal from 'winning the argument' to 'winning as a couple' by listening to, respecting, and even appreciating each other's differences."

How To Survive Parenting

Love Lesson 16
"take time for you and your relationship. As important as it is to nurture your child so they can grow and thrive, it should not come at the cost of your health and the health of your relationship. Take time out to do things that make you happy and everyone in the family will reap the benefits."


Love Lesson 17

"The best gift you can give your children is a happy and long-lasting marriage. Despite their great needs, children will thrive when they see their parents loving each other and giving quality time to the marriage, without always including the children."

Love Lesson 18

"Know that children are a life-long deal. Learn to say 'no' sometimes. Provide them with tools for making their own decisions and never lose sight of the special relationship you have with your spouse."

Love Lesson 19

"Children thrive when their parents love each other. Do this first and the rest gets a lot easier. Children do not benefit when you spend so much ti,e and energy on their needs that you are too tired for your spouse. They grow less secure when you ask them to take sides or keep secrets from their other parent. And it is through your eyes and words that they develop respect and love for their parents, and later on, their mates."

Love Lessons (Part 2)

Shall we proceed?

How To Keep The Romance Alive

Love Lesson 7

"Be genuinely interested in the other person. Get to know your partners's likes and dislikes and make sure you update yourself because people change and so do their desires. A person will naturally be attracted to someone who shows interest in them."

Thank you, darling, for always asking how my day was. Even if you knew i stayed at home all day hihi.Thank you too for being genuinely interested in whatever I do online.


Love Lesson 8

"Pay attention to the small things such remembering birthdays and anniversaries. Go beyond that to take special interest in what your partner is doing or interested in. If a wife has a doctor's appointment, a husband should remember and inquire how it went."

Love Lesson 9

"Review your wedding day and early courtship frequently and feel the emotions."

Haaay, thankies for Couple's Corner =)

Love Lesson 10

"Never, ever complain about what is missing. Instead make it as fun as possible and as easy as possible to be romantic together. Prepare a romantic meal, light a few candles, send the children to visit friends. And remember that men are more likely to offer romance when women offer respect and admiration."

Love Lesson 11

"Be spontaneous and remember any other special days you share as a couple, whether it means writing a poem if the budget is tight. Act as if you are always going out on your first date and put your best foot forward for each other, but still feel comfirtable and relaxed with each other other. You'll experience that amazing blend of  felling familiar but still excited about how you spend your time together."

Loove it! more reasons to revamp my closet =)

Succeeding posts will show us how to make up right......and surviving parenting. Thank you for your continued interest.

Have a glorious Monday everyone!

Love Lessons (Part 1)

Cheesy as it may sound, people are Googling for such topics. And so when I came across an article on local Aquarius magazine discussing the likes, I decided to share it with my online visitors. Four years of marriage and reading the following, I was like yes, true, really?....so here's a gentle reminder for every person out there married or in a relationship.

The following posts will come in four parts. Do come back when you have the chance. Let me know as well if you want to repost. Those in italic are my notes so you don't have to read them. Just move on to the next lesson =)

How To Make Your Love Last

Love Lesson 1
"Work on developing and maintaining a deep friendship. Often, couples forget why they fell in love because of children, work, or running a house that they forget to nurture their friendship. Love is similar to any other thing in life - if we want it to grow and flourish, we need to spend time nurturing it."

Love Lesson 2

"Prioritise the relationship. Make it more important than work, or children because indeed it is. Work will come and go. And when you've prioritised  the marriage over the children, the children still receive all the benefit."

Love Lesson 3
"Wake up each day a loving thought and then turn it into an action."

I think it could be as simple as cooking your partner's favorite dish, or a promised massage when he comes home later from work. 

Love Lesson 4
"Expect love, all sorts of love, and not any particular act of love, like an anniversary gift, breakfast in bed,a  high income, or a long conversation about feelings. While you wait for one, you miss all the others. If you wait impatiently, you may discourage your spouse from trying others."

I soo believe in it. Who likes to receive flowers all the time? I want chocolates as well, a one year subscription of newspaper, or even being driven to flea market. Joke. The thing is, what your partner does for you, appreciate it and think of it as an act of love. Once you do that, you will see loving gestures in every way.

Love Lesson 5

You have to think about your relationship everyday and create ways to help your mate feel good about himself/herself. You both must be committed to keep it on going on."

When you have a toddler in the house, cuddling for two minutes is impossible without being disturbed. And then there are times you are just soo tired all you want in the world is to doze off. But ultimately, you have to make time for landian.

Love Lesson 6

"Happy people do not have less wrenches thrown into their lives. However they do see and appreciate  the positive that are also in their lives. Instead of dwelling o your partner's less than optimal characteristic, change the focus and and concentrate on his/her positive traits. If you can, verbally identify his or her positives and write down at least one thing you feel grateful for about your partner every day."

I will interrupt this post for a meme so do come back if you want to read on keeping the romance alive =)